It's like I'm talking to a monkey...

I escaped the call center! For the past 3 months or so, I have been working in Nu Skin's Employee Product Center. It's a full time job and much more laid back. It's been pretty easy to get used to paid holidays and actual pay checks. The biggest challenge of my job: Kronk, my only coworker. That's not actually his name, but it's what I call him. Not to his face, of course, but not because I'm scared of him... because I'm not.

Kronk is 6'5'', 33 years old and has the mental capacity of his counterpart on Emperor's New Groove. He is a body builder and obsessed with losing weight/gaining muscle. He is currently taking some flourescent purple diet pills that make him sweat "like some kinda animal, maybe a pig, I guess..."
Here are some of the things he's done lately that make me laugh quietly to myself while I try to be kind:

Every time there is free food in the break room, he brings me some. This is the intro he gave to the wafer he got me: "I got you a wafer. It's chocolate. So it's a chocolate wafer. I guess I got you a chocolate wafer. Do you like wafers? They were free wafers and chocolate so I got you one. One chocolate wafer. One Wafer. It's chocolate."
I felt like I was on Sesame Street.

The other day, out of the blue he said:"I think I should read books."
I asked him what kind of books and he said "I don't know, I just never read books maybe I should get one. I see people reading sometimes... I guess it must be fun. Or maybe they just like having something to hold..."
 
Kronk:"Hey Charli, have you ever been to BYU?"
Me:"Yep." (We had a conversation last week about how I go to school there...)
Kronk:"Have you ever noticed the new trend of students wearing flip-flops? I've seen it a lot recently..."
Me:"Well, it's summer so lots of people everywhere are wearing flip-flops."
Kronk:"Yeah, but mostly at BYU, we never see that in California.(Side note: Kronk is from LA) I think they should put that in the honor code: no flip-flops. Who wants to see disgusting toes? I mean you can't wear hats in some classes, but that's probably in case you're hiding something..."
Me:"You really don't think people wear them in California??"
Kronk: "No, shoes are required in most gas stations."
 
Kronk now has a girlfriend. Her name is KC. I think the fact that her name only contains those 2 letters, pretty well sums her up (no offense L.e.). She is thin, blonde, and wonders how they already made the Lord of the Ring movies into a book series. Their first date was about 2 months ago and since then I have listened to Kronk analyze this girl constantly. He's now managed to overlook her flaws. His biggest complaints being "We have lots in common, but we also have things not in common...so...." and "She's just not perfect. Am I supposed to hold out for someone that is? Cause no one is perfect... so maybe I should wait." She now visits here at least once if not three times per day. Lucky me. And her adoring boyfriend always greets her with a big smile and "You're back! I missed you so much already!"
 

I'm pretty sure this is actually an illustration of his decision making process...

The only downside of this analogy is that it makes me Yzma.... Ah well.